


i want to know, does it bother you? (the low click of a ticking clock)

by cathrheas



Series: @cathrheas' Kinktober 2019 [10]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Anal Sex, Hate Sex, M/M, Unhealthy Relationships, ashe wants to make him ok, but like in a sad way, felix is not ok, it sucks for everyone, vague descriptions of sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 00:01:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20985461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cathrheas/pseuds/cathrheas
Summary: Felix got a sick sort of satisfaction from knowing that Ashe would leave him eventually.





	i want to know, does it bother you? (the low click of a ticking clock)

**Author's Note:**

> (Day 10: Hate Fucking)
> 
> *goes down to my dorm lounge to write in peace*  
*talks for an hour and a half*
> 
> smh, social life. getting in the way of my smut writing. shame.
> 
> title is from Don't Lie by Vampire Weekend. stan Vampire Weekend.
> 
> also this is more of a thinkpiece than smut. so, sorry. i got tired... (seeing a pattern yet? i give up and make things m-rated when im sleepy.)

Ashe was like a kicked puppy, but twice as imaginative. His ideas of Felix’s psyche were foolish, childish, borderline stupid.  _ You just need someone to love you, _ Ashe would say.  _ To take care of you. _ Maybe he was right to some extent, because Felix allowed him to hang around, didn’t argue when Ashe snuggled up against him. But there were some nights where the bitterness in Felix was too strong, and the slightest taste of sugar made him snap.

Some nights, Felix  _ hated _ Ashe.

It couldn’t have been, Felix had thought. He, who had taken so long to admit it, loved Ashe. The first time he said it, he finally felt warmth. But when he saw Ashe smile, sometimes he wondered why he wasn’t allowed that same joy, no matter how hard he tried. And he wanted Ashe to stop, to quit being so nice and nervous and honest and sweet. He never wanted Ashe to hurt—he knew that Ashe had been hurt enough in his life, especially after Lonato’s death—but sometimes he envied Ashe.

To make things worse, that was when Ashe was at his kindest. He’d come to Felix’s room and cuddle close to his side, hold his hand, fall asleep in a manner so cute that it had to be on purpose. Felix wanted to cry. He didn’t deserve Ashe. He wanted Ashe to finally get it, that he was horrible, that Ashe deserved someone better, but no matter how bad it got, Ashe stuck by him.

Ashe felt it, whenever Felix was thinking too hard. That was when he’d come by. Felix’s back felt cold, until Ashe snuggled up to it, sighing when he finally rested his face in curve of Felix’s spine. “Hi, Felix,” Ashe said.

“Ashe, it’s past midnight,” Felix deadpanned.

“Yeah, I know...I figured if you weren’t sleep by now, you were worrying about something. How are you feeling?”

“Tired.” Ashe didn’t respond. When Felix got snippy, he simply waited. Felix wondered if he ever got tired of waiting, or how much it would take for him to get sick of it. Eventually, Felix said, “Did you just come here to sleep?”

Felix felt Ashe shrug. “I don’t know. Just wanted to check in on you.”

“I don’t need you to...” Felix couldn’t figure out what he wanted, but he knew he had time to think. Ashe wasn’t leaving any time soon. Felix rolled onto his other side. Ashe looked surprised that Felix had decided to look at him, but didn’t say anything. He instead lifted his hand, rested it on Felix’s upper arm, then squeezed. Felix sighed, shutting his eyes. “Do you want to do something tonight, Ashe?”

“Huh? Do what?”

“Anything. I can’t sleep.”

“I figured you couldn’t,” Ashe said, softly. “Yeah. I’m not that tired. What do you want to do?”

Felix slid his hand up the hem of Ashe’s shirt, feeling the soft swell of Ashe’s stomach. Ashe looked up at Felix, his eyes wide and confused. Felix mumbled, “You don’t want to?”

“I do. Whatever makes you feel better.”

Felix almost felt sick. Ashe didn’t know what was good for him, not if he was still letting Felix get all over him. But every time, he complied, even asked for it, no matter how hard Felix did it or how long. Felix’s hand reversed, sliding down Ashe’s shirt and into his boxers. Ashe was at half-mast, waiting for Felix to stroke him; however, Felix wanted to let Ashe know just who he was. He wasn’t there for Ashe’s pleasure, he was selfish, he only wanted to please himself. That’s why his fingers went straight to Ashe’s pucker, dragging a finger across it to show his intentions.

Felix looked Ashe in the eyes, gold into green. Then, he murmured, “We can’t do it dry. Get the oil.”

“Well, of course we can’t,” Ashe giggled. Felix got off of him, scooting to the other side of the bed like he’d been stung. Ashe didn’t notice, and if he did, he ignored it. He went over to Felix’s dresser, dug out the glass vial of oil they’d been chipping away at. Ashe held it up like a prize, shaking it a little. “We’re running out, Felix.”

“I guess we won’t do it anymore when it’s empty.”

Ashe actually seemed sad. Felix wanted to roll his eyes. As if someone like Ashe would crave intimacy, with someone like Felix. It was a farce, and it was all out of pity. Felix got a sick sort of satisfaction from knowing that Ashe would leave him eventually. That Ashe would figure out the truth, realize that he was little more than a temporary comfort. Felix wanted to be alone again, wanted to return to the days where he didn’t have to worry about how long it’d take for Ashe to leave because Ashe wasn’t his.

It was so much easier when he was alone. Even if he didn’t really want to be. 

Ashe got back into the bed. Felix didn’t look over when he got in, but he felt the mattress sink. “How do you want to do it?” Ashe asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re still laying back,” Ashe pointed out. Felix had his arms folded over his head, lazily. “Do you...want me to put it in? N-not mine, I mean. Do you want me to be on—”

“I’ll do it,” Felix snapped. He took the bottle, urging Ashe onto his back. Ashe laid back, taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders as if Felix were about to push inside him right then. 

Well, it wouldn’t be long. Felix didn’t waste time with the flowery nonsense. He slipped Ashe’s boxers off, pulled down his own. Ashe shifted back and forth across the sheets like a wriggling worm until Felix pinned him down by one hip. Ashe whispered an apology. Then, he focused his gaze on Felix’s hand, which was coated in oil and wrapping around his own dick. Felix never fingered Ashe, never prepared him from the inside, because Ashe was too sensitive. Sometimes he’d cum just from that, just from having Felix’s fingers inside.

No, Felix wouldn’t let it happen like that. He made Ashe wait, until he was finally ready, until he’d stroked himself enough to lose himself in the feeling. Then, he pressed Ashe to the bed with his oil-slicked hand, and ignored the resistance that came from Ashe’s tight hole when he pushed in. Ashe stifled his own moans, biting his lip, Felix’s shoulder, anything. It was never quite enough, though; no matter how hard Ashe tried to keep himself quiet, Felix would go faster until he had no choice but to yell.

It was so  _ easy _ to get lost in the feeling of hating Ashe. It was so vile, to have a boy like that that loved with all of his heart, then to despise him for his happiness and fuck him into the mattress. It was despicable. It was only a matter of time before Ashe realized it too, Felix thought. Until then, Felix would give Ashe whatever he asked for, even if it wasn’t good for him.

_ He has to learn on his own, _ Felix thought. He dug his nails into Ashe’s leg, hard enough to scar, and went in deeper. Ashe cried out like he had been hit, like Felix had been the one to hit him. Felix was comforted by the noise, so he kept going, faster, faster, faster, until Ashe was little more than a body beneath him—

Ashe didn’t cum until Felix did, another filthy display of his obedience. It wasn’t until Felix started shooting his load into Ashe that Ashe’s cock flexed against his belly, soiling himself. Felix watched it happen, burying himself balls-deep in Ashe and staying there until he couldn’t sit up any longer.

When Felix’s legs gave out, he landed on top of Ashe with a heavy “plop”. Ashe merely chuckled at it. Felix had to be crushing him. What an idiot. “That was fun,” Ashe said. 

He rested his hand on Felix’s shoulder, rubbing him, like he was congratulating his son for going off to kindergarten. He was so loving, had so many expectations, Felix couldn’t stand it. “Yeah. It was okay.”

_ Any day now,  _ Felix thought.  _ Any day now, he’ll come to his senses. _

**Author's Note:**

> im sleepy :(


End file.
